When something doesn’t go as intended, people usually want to find out the reason - mainly because knowing the reason for something can help us gather information to avoid future mistakes. However, the reasons behind breakups are mostly unclear, and that’s why our brains may find it difficult to process.
Trying to go back and find the source of the problem usually aggravates the pain associated with breakups. It is often impossible to identify exactly why it happened, and repeated rambling through the breakup details delays the recovery process. In his book “Get Through Your Breakup - Find Yourself, And Thrive,” the author Weston Hudspeth has explained how one should overcome this pain and move ahead in life.
However, this article explains the reasons why breakups hurt.
1) Sense of Detachment
When you experience a breakup, the most apparent reason you get hurt is that you haven’t finished over your ex. You loved your ex-partner for a while and got connected. When you establish a relationship with any person, you tend to develop certain feelings. Once the connection is over, you feel disconnected from the power outlet. The source of happiness, validation, love, romance, and intimacy is wholly cut off, and your emotional needs have not been met, and that’s why the breakup hurts.
2) Lost Power Play
The relationships play a huge role when it comes to demonstrating your power. Perhaps you tried to control your partner at one point and possibly that your push-pull techniques ended your relationship. You may subconsciously want your ex to chase you, apologize to you and tell you that your argument or disagreement was correct. In doing so, you want to feelappreciated, valuable, and desirable.
You probably had a breakup to increase your significance. You waited, but nothing happened, and the plan didn’t go as you anticipated. As your partner cannot help you at this time, your ego suffers a massive blow, making you feel hurt.
3) Prompt Regret
Most of the time, people end relationships in the heat of the moment. It happens when someone says anything wrong about the other, and it’s over. Generally, people do this to prove their point, seek power, demean the other one & to gain control of the relationship. They can reach the extent of threatening each other, which can be really dangerous for the relationship. When threatening becomes frequent, people tend to break up for good.
When someone threatens or suggests breaking up, it happens sooner rather than later. It is one thing you should never say unless you are 100% sure that this is what you want. So when you tell your ex that you think you should break up, and he or she may think it is the best option, you will immediately regret your decision.
4) Jealousy
Another reason why breakup hurts is jealousy. It blows your ego when you find out that your ex is happy after leaving you. Initially, you thought you would be happy after a breakup, but your ex is having all the fun. Besides, the thought of your ex pinning over you gives you some comfort. Unfortunately, you’re not getting any help because he or she doesn’t seem to be in contact and is enjoying life. It hurts when your ex heals and moves on, and you are still in the endless loop of sadness.
5) Depression
Separating from a romantic partner means breaking some patterns. Because you no longer share events, friends, and other things with that person, you now have more time to spend with yourself. You may have plans to date other people, but this alone can’t bring you happiness. Perhaps, your friend may be very busy, and you have no choice but to think about yourself.
There are many theories to back that loneliness can cause severe depression. This is common among older people and people with very small social circles. If you stay at home and want to know what to do, start a checklist, and complete amazing things. Do what you’ve always wanted to do. And, when you don’t participate in all such activities, the breakup hurts even more.
In conclusion, pain is the ugly side of a breakup, and many of us have to go through it. Perhaps, it is difficult to stop thinking about your ex or their new partner, but you will certainly get over this feeling. Besides, in his book,Weston Hudspeth shares all the strategies of feeling better after a breakup and living a satisfying life.
Author’s Bio:
Weston Hudspeth is like anyone who has experienced both the happiest and worst days in life. The purpose of his book “Get Through Your Breakup - Find Yourself, And Thrive”ISBN: 978-1-952263-27-9is to mend the broken hearts and help them finding peace and happiness in life.
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