Divorce can be the most difficult phase of a married couple’s life. But adults are able to understand the situation, deal with their emotions, and move on. The same cannot be said about the child or children that get caught up between their parents’ problems and differences. Divorce can have a negative impact on children, in short term and the long term. Since children’s minds are still developing and comprehending the world around them, it can become difficult for them to understand and process the complicated feelings that can arise due to parents parting ways. In many cases, children have to decide who they want to live with and in other cases, one of the parents may be prohibited or choose to not see the children. The negative effects of watching their parents separate can have a major effect on the children’s future relationships. It can very much shape their views on love and marriage.
In the United States of America, 50% of marriages end in divorce or separation. It also has the 6th highest rate of divorce in the world. Additionally, studies have shown that women, who have divorced parents, have 60% of higher divorce rate, in comparison to women, who have non-divorced parents.
Young children are usually extremely dependent and attached to their parents, watching them separate can cause anxiety and stress in their life. When children suffer through anxiety and stress at such a young age, it can become very difficult for them to concentrate on their education. The drastic shift in their home lives and not having one of parents around constantly, can leave children feeling displaced and confused. In times like these, it is important for parents to talk to their children about the changes that will take place after the divorce. And discuss their own feelings and have the children discuss theirs in a healthy way to help the children better understand the situation they are facing as a family. Children tend to blame themselves for things that go wrong around them, they might feel like they have done something wrong and as punishment, their parents have decided to stop living together. Parents need to make it clear to the children that it is not their fault, so the feelings of guilt don’t linger around.
Mood swings can become common among the children, whose parents are going through a divorce. They will inherently find it difficult to communicate and express their emotions. When this difficulty arises, children will either become easily irritated or completely shut themselves off from the world. If the changes in a child’s behavior are not addressed and dealt with appropriately, children can grow up to further develop different behavioral and social problems. In the long term, children can become prone to substance use disorders, research has proven.
Author Carmel Maria Foster writes about the troubles she face while her parents divorced and how it changed her life, in her book, The Awakening – Story of a South African American (ISBN 9781078780742). Foster further discusses how her own divorce affected her children and their lives.
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