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Sharing Your Story – Denise Shellyann Clarke


“Sometimes it takes more than surviving one day at a time. It can be about surviving one hour at a time, or even a minute, or a single breath.” – Domestic Violence Survivor


 

Most abuse survivors, especially survivors that have faced sexual abuse as children, think and feel as though they are completely alone in this world. They feel like no one would understand their pain and all the other emotions swirling inside them constantly. The thoughts and noises in their heads, which make it extremely difficult for them to focus on anything for too long. The flashbacks and nightmares that keep them awake at night. All the trauma that has affected their bodies and minds, leaves them feeling isolated. Even when they are getting support, love, and care from their family and friends. But what they fail to realize is that there are many people out in the world, who have experienced the same abuse and violence. And many of these survivors have fought their battles fearlessly and have won against their abusers and the trauma. Many are still fighting it every day.

This is the reason why sharing your story and your experience, which may sound daunting at first, is very important. It is not only important to help other survivors to deal with and manage their trauma. But it also helps you to find an outlet for your emotions and thoughts. It will help you see that you are not alone in your fight, others can relate to what you are feeling and thinking. Sharing and talking about your story is a way to look after yourself and begin the recovery process. Especially for people who have a preference for sharing their emotions and thoughts. Group therapy for abuse and trauma survivors can benefit their healing process. Similarly, if a survivor is not comfortable with sharing their story in front of a group of people, they can talk to a therapist who specializes in treating abuse and trauma survivors.

Many survivors are afraid of telling their story solely because they don’t want to hurt other people, who may be related to the abuser in one way or another. Survivors may wait for the right time to share their stories, considering when the people will feel comfortable enough to listen to what the survivor has to share. But the sad truth is that people will never be comfortable or ready to hear your story. Some people will listen to you compassionately and empathically. Many others will be offended, hurt, betrayed, and hurt. But you are not the reason for their pain. That responsibility lies on the shoulders of the abuser only. The survivor has no blame or fault in this situation, or any situation related to the abuse. Another important impact that sharing your story has is that it breaks the shame around the topic. Most survivors feel shame and guilt after suffering an assault. The way they might think about the abuse internally might end up minimizing or normalizing it. These thoughts can change when you tell your story out loud and see the reaction of horror and shock on other people’s faces. One example that can show the importance and power of sharing your story is a book titled, My Protector Was My Molester 978-1-951630-57-7. The author, Denise Shellyann Clarke shares her story about the abuse she faced by her father from an early age.

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