One of the most difficult things that a person has to do in a family is to blend in and make others blend in too. We fall in love with a person who has had past relationships, and we get married. The hardest part starts after that when we have to adjust with our respective kids with previous partners. It requires a great deal of patience and courage to take up the responsibility of your partner's kids.
It is very understandable that just like every other difficult thing that we get to face, step-parenting also comes with its pros and cons and nobody would judge you if you hit a bump every now and then as long as you have the bright spots to shine out on all the dark ones. No family is perfect and every family has to face their own set of challenges when it comes to excelling and progressing in lives. When those children are adults and living outside the home, the new spouses may need to be creative about how to bring the entire family together.
It all begins with the wedding so you need to make sure that the kids are involved in your wedding plans and marriage proceedings. Make them feel as if they are an important part of the festivities. If they express an interest in planning the wedding, encourage them to do so that they feel to be a part of the relationship, an important one at that.
Communication is the key when it comes to living as a blended family. Speak out in an appropriate manner as to what are the things that you do not like or do not approve of it. Similarly, let the kids have a say in what they do not like or approve of it too. Speaking your heart out and letting them speak their will bond you up as a family and will help you form a strong parent-kid bond.
Believe it or not but if you are not sincere to your step-kids, they will eventually learn to accept you as parent or guardian. They will start trusting you with their problems and issues in their lives too. Make sure that all of your members are having and taking that one-on-one family time with each other because in those moments you are more likely to speak your heart out and the family bond will strengthen.
The families where there is a lack of communication, are the ones where the abusive behaviors from their roots. Oscar Santos says in his book, What Your Mother Doesn't Know (978-1952263033), that lack communication and being unable to express your thoughts and feelings is one of the biggest causes of abusive behaviors between step-parents and step-kids. When they fail to understand each other's issues and mindsets, they are very likely to pose toxic behaviors towards the kids or their parents. You need to be patient and make sure that you all are catching up on life and having amazing life experiences as a family which will strengthen your family bond.
Author Bio:
Oscar Santos is an author with an engineering background. He writes about his life experiences and how a person needs to deal with emotional and financial hindrances in life. He writes to inspire people to learn from the issues that life gives us and win.
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